Problems

Sometimes I wonder when people are really strong Christians and are overweight if God wants them to be overweight or if they are being disobedient. Sometimes I wonder if it's cause they drink too much beer. They say you can usually tell because they will get this really hard rocky fat on their belly. I have never personally gotten close enough. But someday I hope to be in the position to offer a more experienced insight. Is it insensitive? Is it ok if you're Gay? Is it ok if IM Gay? No, you say? Well what do you know.

Anti Fear List Thursday

1. Driving at night

2. Hiking- Through the woods- on horseback? 

3. Elementary christmas singing children's choir with my sister

4. When Mrs. Weasley calls Bellatrix Lestrange the B word.  

5. Understanding communication not fearing 

6. Drawing Contests

7. This scene from little miss sunshine

8. Dream interpretations 

9.  Talking for long time on the phone

10.  Jumping with friends

Can't believe my luck

In the northeast failure is not tolerated. Neither is being jealous, sad, or retiring. When my Grandfather retired from the folding chair factory he had been employed at all his life, it was like being the Virgin Mary in Nazareth. Being the old timer that he was, he sat on his porch all day and let the smoke from his cigars he smoked waft into the window of his widowed neighbor until she went to visit whatever it was she served, that being, in my grandfather's opinion, the Devil. She always claimed she served Jesus but he saw a picture of a goat devouring a nude ballerina on her wall.

Anti Fear Thursday

Recently very many positive things have occurred to me, the best of things. However this has had no bearing on the ability of my mood to turn over and stick it's head in the mud. If one's head is in the mud then his breathing becomes labored and he craves listening to music where people scream and think about things that cause them to play their instruments more loudly than they otherwise would. When I tried this my voice became hoarse and I drank tea to salvage it and burned my tongue as well what was left of my happiness. Abi suggested that I make an anti-fear list, which is a tool one uses to correct negativity and such.

1. Abi
2. Thinking about the dog I will get some day
3. Getting flattered
4. Talking to my mom when I stir noodles
5. Talking with Cameron and going to the Hobbit right now with Cameron
6. Fireside jam sessions
7. Sitting in the sun until it hurts to move your face or get slapped in the face
8. This weird hybrid power-emotion you get from fusing coffee with music and being in love
9. David and Jesse's stories
10. Rainstorms

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What do I see

Train rides are fun in the spring and the summer. When the wind blows in the spring, I stick my head out of the train window and wave to cattle and farmers as the train blows by them. One day the train broke down and I went to help the mechanic fix the engine. At the front of the train lay a dead church mouse. I buried it and wondered about it. Do mice believe in God? Do they acknowledge the existence of a divine creator? I wondered if the mouse was possessed by a demon that forced it to throw it's self under the train. Just then a mentally handicapped person yelled at me and I couldn't understand him. Later on I learned that he thought the particular way the sun shined on my face and neck was very flattering.

Friendship

     It is hard to think of things to say sometimes. Friendship is really good when it's success does not depend on the saying of impressive or clever enough things, but on a shared knowledge that mutual love exists. Sometimes it is scary that a clever thing won't be said, and a relationship will subsequently fail. When these times come, I close my eyes and think about how I wish this scary thought would leave and be replaced with love. I have a couple friends that I love a lot and they don't need me to say clever things. Sometimes I just sip coffee and meaningfully nod in their direction. I like this clip about friendship:)