Problems

Sometimes I wonder when people are really strong Christians and are overweight if God wants them to be overweight or if they are being disobedient. Sometimes I wonder if it's cause they drink too much beer. They say you can usually tell because they will get this really hard rocky fat on their belly. I have never personally gotten close enough. But someday I hope to be in the position to offer a more experienced insight. Is it insensitive? Is it ok if you're Gay? Is it ok if IM Gay? No, you say? Well what do you know.

Anti Fear List Thursday

1. Driving at night

2. Hiking- Through the woods- on horseback? 

3. Elementary christmas singing children's choir with my sister

4. When Mrs. Weasley calls Bellatrix Lestrange the B word.  

5. Understanding communication not fearing 

6. Drawing Contests

7. This scene from little miss sunshine

8. Dream interpretations 

9.  Talking for long time on the phone

10.  Jumping with friends

Can't believe my luck

In the northeast failure is not tolerated. Neither is being jealous, sad, or retiring. When my Grandfather retired from the folding chair factory he had been employed at all his life, it was like being the Virgin Mary in Nazareth. Being the old timer that he was, he sat on his porch all day and let the smoke from his cigars he smoked waft into the window of his widowed neighbor until she went to visit whatever it was she served, that being, in my grandfather's opinion, the Devil. She always claimed she served Jesus but he saw a picture of a goat devouring a nude ballerina on her wall.

Anti Fear Thursday

Recently very many positive things have occurred to me, the best of things. However this has had no bearing on the ability of my mood to turn over and stick it's head in the mud. If one's head is in the mud then his breathing becomes labored and he craves listening to music where people scream and think about things that cause them to play their instruments more loudly than they otherwise would. When I tried this my voice became hoarse and I drank tea to salvage it and burned my tongue as well what was left of my happiness. Abi suggested that I make an anti-fear list, which is a tool one uses to correct negativity and such.

1. Abi
2. Thinking about the dog I will get some day
3. Getting flattered
4. Talking to my mom when I stir noodles
5. Talking with Cameron and going to the Hobbit right now with Cameron
6. Fireside jam sessions
7. Sitting in the sun until it hurts to move your face or get slapped in the face
8. This weird hybrid power-emotion you get from fusing coffee with music and being in love
9. David and Jesse's stories
10. Rainstorms

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What do I see

Train rides are fun in the spring and the summer. When the wind blows in the spring, I stick my head out of the train window and wave to cattle and farmers as the train blows by them. One day the train broke down and I went to help the mechanic fix the engine. At the front of the train lay a dead church mouse. I buried it and wondered about it. Do mice believe in God? Do they acknowledge the existence of a divine creator? I wondered if the mouse was possessed by a demon that forced it to throw it's self under the train. Just then a mentally handicapped person yelled at me and I couldn't understand him. Later on I learned that he thought the particular way the sun shined on my face and neck was very flattering.

Friendship

     It is hard to think of things to say sometimes. Friendship is really good when it's success does not depend on the saying of impressive or clever enough things, but on a shared knowledge that mutual love exists. Sometimes it is scary that a clever thing won't be said, and a relationship will subsequently fail. When these times come, I close my eyes and think about how I wish this scary thought would leave and be replaced with love. I have a couple friends that I love a lot and they don't need me to say clever things. Sometimes I just sip coffee and meaningfully nod in their direction. I like this clip about friendship:)

My Leaders

I really like our president. He is really nice, has several daughters, and a dog named Bo. Lots of people think that these are bad reasons to vote for somebody to be president. However, I don't really know much about anything besides the things that I value, things such being kind, courageous, loving my family and friends, and laughter.

 

He reminds me of my Grandfather. My Grandfather is really Rad. Even though my Grandfather thinks Obama is a very bad president, if he were to come to his house, I know my Grandfather would be super stoked. 

My Dad is a very good leader. He is the wisest, most courageous person I know. He is like Alfred P. Doolittle mixed with Gandalf. 

Brother Wind

 Today I took my little sisters to the library and read a book about brother wind. It is a book that details the actions of a young southern black girl on her quest to capture the wind, who is depicted as a blue airy type with a stick. My sister wandered off to indulge herself in what appeared to be a spiritually destructive "Dora the Explorer" game. I read on to discover that the particular Caucasian who authored "brother wind"had some very strange ideas about what African-American people choose to do in their free time.

  

I want to share a poem:

I approached the edge of the peir

and fell off

into the water

where I sank into

the water

whose cold, icy hand

was chilling

and had a cooling effect

on my heart

and I felt the pain

of being in the wet dank grasp

of something to which I had to submit

because I couldn't find a ladder

because I couldn't see

because my contacts fell out

because I have oddly shaped eyeballs

Look at Your Shoes

Today I realized that my shoes are not appropriate for social situations such as attending school. Adjectives my shoes met with today include "Douchey, dumb, cheap, sad, and poser" I would buy a new pair of shoes, but as I am trying to cultivate an image amongst my friends as being someone who doesn't care about appearances, I feel that I am going to silence that urge for the time being.

 

This is a picture of me in New Orleans. I went there to hear good music and see art. Some people think I went there to have sex and drink beer. Although these are both pursuits that appeal to me, being that I am a Christian, and didn't have any money to purchase either of these entertainment options, I found solace in a conversation with a drunk Irish immigrant. He was willing to look past my shoes.